Let’s just be honest here: we’re going to be talking about bidets and toilets and pooping. So let’s cut to the chase and admit that sometimes it’s just a dang mess. When that’s the case, there’s nothing quite like a bidet to help you feel so fresh and so clean. We have the technology and oh what sweet technology it is. Today, we’re going to show you the best bidets you can find to treat your derriere like royalty. We run a product review website here at Home Kitchenary, but that doesn’t mean it’s just for the kitchen! We’re looking at all parts of your home, including the bathroom. For bathroom, bedroom, garden, and kitchen appliance reviews, we have you covered. This week, we’re thrilled to let you know our 2023 picks for the best bidets — and we’re sure your rear end will be just as thrilled once you made your decision thanks to these bidet reviews!
Whether this is for you, a partner, or a friend, these tools are a must-have in the modern bathroom. And whether you’re trying to find the best or shop on a budget, we’ve done the research for you. The best bidets ~for you~ are just a few clicks away. Let us know what you end up deciding on in the comments, and check out other home and kitchen appliance reviews while you’re here!
Best Overall Bidet
One of the most popular bidets found online, the Luxe Neo 120 is a great selection if you are new to bidets. With very easy instructions for installation, you’ll be surprised by how quickly you will have this functioning on your toilet. With over 40,000 reviews and an average 4.6 out of 5 stars, this product is tried and tested and meets the standards we expect here at Home Kitchenary. And, because it has so many reviews, we have some must-have tips that will save you time and money. Users recommend toilet seat bumpers/spacers for your toilet lid so that it doesn’t rest and put pressure on the bidet; users also recommend using a T adapter to control the water pressure. Take note: the pressure is really there if you know what we mean, so watch out if you place it on full pressure.
Best Budget Bidet
Not everyone is ready for a fancy robot toilet that cleans their butt for them, and that’s ok. If you’re a little hesitant, but still want to try a bidet, the Greenco is a fabulous choice to dip your proverbial toes in the water. While this is our top budget-friendly choice, we have not skimped on quality. With easy installation, use, and the ability adjust the spray angle, this is a quality bidet for any new user. With more than 10,000 reviews and an average 4.5 star review, this is a quality product that can get your foot in the door and poop out your butt.
Best Night Time Bidet
This may sound like an odd choice, but most bidets do not have lights on their knobs and controls. And although we doubt you choose to poop in complete darkness, a well-lit control panel is noteworthy for dark or poorly lit bathrooms. The great thing about this choice is that Bio Bidet has created a quality product that is tried and tested. With more than 20,000 reviews and a 67% average 5-star review, this is a solid choice for a bidet. As with most bidets, double check that your toilet is the right shape, double check your water pressure, and double check if you need spacers for your toilet seat.
Best Adjustable Bidet
When it comes to bidets and bodies, it’s not one size fits all. We’ve found several bidets and hundreds of reviews with contradicting performances. We understand that not every bidet will work for every toilet and every person. But with that in mind, we searched for a product that could do it all; we found the Buttler. Clear Rear provides a great bidet similar to ones described above, but with a few bonuses. Its controls give the user some extra features and a wider array of angled cleanings. Additionally, this product has thousands of reviews that attest to its cleaning powers.
Best Looking Bidet
You can find the best bidet out there, but if it doesn’t match the aesthetic of your bathroom, then that’s a problem. If you are looking for a bidet that isn’t garish or sticks out too far, then look no further. The Veken Ultra-Slim Bidet is a quality bidet that fits well and is sleek looking. Designed to match and almost camouflage with your toilet, this bidet will give you the cleaning you need without sticking out like a sore thumb. With easy installation, powerful cleaning spray, and thousands of reviews to back it up, this bidet is a great choice.
Bidet Tips & Accessories
If you haven’t noticed a trend up above in our reviews, take note now. Bidets are great for the bathroom, but it does depend on the bathroom. Most bidets are fit for an oval shaped, elongated toilet. If you have a round toilet please adjust your searches so you don’t waste your time and money on a model that doesn’t fit. Additionally, most bidets require self-installation. If you are not that handy, be aware that it may take up to an hour to install as you figure out your water line, pressure, and toilet seat spacing.
On that note, almost every bidet is going to create a gap in your toilet seat. Please, please, please buy some bumpers/spacers for $4. These will save you the hassle of that gap as well as the unnecessary stress on your toilet seat that could end up cracking it. If you plan ahead now, you’ll save yourself a headache as you install and use your first bidet. Happy clean butts!
Home & Kitchen Appliance Reviews
Our goal: the right bidet does exist. It fits your budget and meets your needs. We hope this buyer’s guide helped you compare some of the popular bidets on the market so that you can make an informed decision.
If you end up buying one of these items, let us know in the comments!
Check out some of these other home appliance reviews to not only clean your butt but your home as well!